Discussions

You're sitting at a screen, staring at nothing. Your life passes you by right outside your four walls! Someone outside longs to be with you, but you will never know. A hand goes unheld, and a noose tightens around the neck of someone awesome that just wanted a friend. A car knocks someone off a bicycle, irreparably damaging hands, never to create your new favorite picture. You sit on your bonce, and wish for life to be better, and all you had to do was step outside to make it so. Instead you order something off Amazon to fill the hole where your heart should be...

My apologies, I thought I doing reviews would make me happy, but NO! The fat bastard that runs this Shitshow is as inattentive as a stone cock! All I see is YouTube videos showcasing retro garbage that I wouldn't want to put off on my worst enemy! Fuck this, I'm going to create my own stuff, and if you like, set the world on fire!

Today I saw a dump truck… Some things just make sense to me in a crazy kind of way. I glued a TOY Yoda into my Toyota (just so I could say " I have a toy Yoda in my Toyota,) and today I saw a Dump-Truck and wondered if anyone ever… Anyhoo now I’m playing The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap on a GameBoy that is, fittingly enough, Minish-sized. I originally played this on the GBA-SP and now, many years later, I’m playing the European version (so many innuendos.) There are few differences that I could find ( you can't buy the bomb bag in the shop,) but I am really making this review for the sake of a punny joke! The Nintendo Switch has Breath of the Wild and the Link’s Awakening remake, but when I think “Zelda” I’ll always remember the GameBoy Advanced. It had a port of the NES original, you could play all three GameBoy Color cartridges on it, there was a port of A Link to the Past from the Super Nintendo, but best of all was The Minish Cap! Going back and playing it after all this time I noticed subtle things I didn’t on my first playthrough. The biggie was the Capcom back-tracking trick that makes relatively short games very long (anyone that played Resident Evil 3 Nemesis knows exactly what I’m talking about! Plus, Capcom made this gem waay before they came to be known as “Crap-com.”) The other thing that surprised me was how well the colors just POP! Everything from the vibrant backgrounds to the colorful townsfolk just seemed awash in day-glow fluorescence. The RetroMini probably has something to do with that, since the screen is the same resolution as the GameBoy Micro. Most importantly is the fun-factor and replayability. I’ve just beaten the game, and now I’m playing on a second save file just to see what I missed the first time around. There’s just SO much to find and collect, that it will keep you coming back for more. This game is that fun and addictive. Changing from “big” Link to Minish-sized link means there’s twice as much to explore, and not all the NPCs interact with you the first time you meet them. Replayability out the wazoo, dungeons that get bigger as you go, and weapons that become keys to your next destination, what’s not to love? As I said, I played as a tiny Link in a tiny land in a tiny game played on a tiny GameBoy, and I’m having an ENORMOUS amount of fun. So the next time you look at a dump-truck and wonder “did anyone ever really…” Just remember that fun is the best thing to have in this life, and someone probably did, Just for the fun of it!